Now obviously at this point a group of very angry people in cordouroy trousers will be writing furious letters to the Daily Mail complaining that a young person is expressing themself. Well Mr A Nutter don’t worry, I won’t be long! You see for quite a while now Ive been throwing ridiculous amounts of cash practically down the drain in the vein pursuit of improving my car.

The car in question is a VW Polo, which (through some mis-guided efforts) has been ruined! all the oily, mechanical bits have been left how nature intended you understand. As is often the way with car modifying all the stuff I’ve done looks quite nice but has no real value to the performance of the car.

It has shiny alloy wheels and a half decent stereo but nothing that makes it faster than any other Polo, to me this is the beauty of Car mods like a tattoo or a piercing for your body a new part for your car feels individual and allows you to be creative.

Of course if you do mod a car people will always assume you are a boy/girl racer, but on the whole this is not the case. Boy racers buy crap cars and then paint them luminous yellow, which I don’t! and Boy Racers can often be found in a Sainsbury’s car park doing ‘donuts’ whilst listening to DJ Damp Squib or whatever his name is.

At this point it would probably be wise for someone to sit me down and give a Father Ted like talk on ‘dreams’ and ‘reality’ but it still won’t work I know it’s pointless and I know it will ruin me but for every other modifier, tuner, and car customiser in the UK it’s your passion because whatever madcap creation you concieve, it’s guaranteed to be one of a kind!